Columnist vows to give up doughnuts for summer

by Danny Bush


Summers here in Glendale can be described a number of ways: hot, stifling and even less pleasant than waking up naked in a sauna surrounded by Hillary Clinton supporters. However, summer gives students a chance to do some good. Anything from internships to volunteer opportunities or even dignity-robbing minimum wage jobs are helpful to students looking to further their education and pay off the interest on their massive soul-stealing loans.


Students only get three months out of the year wherein they can take advantage of an abundance of time in order to spend it doing absolutely nothing. That’s a bad idea! Though it may be tempting to sit on the couch, play video games, and eat doughnuts (mmm, doughnuts) all summer, students have a future in their hands. Now is not the time to be lazy. Now is the time to get up, put on a uniform and get demeaned by a disgruntled, bottom-rung, cubicle slave whose only outlet for pent-up rage is the kid taking his order.


It sounds bad, yes. But, students should be proud of themselves for doing what they’re doing: the college experience. Sometimes it sucks. Sometimes there are memories to be made that will last forever. Summer is the time to make those memories and to get set up for the next year of school and for the future. Here are a few ideas that can make summer meaningful, productive and fun:


  1. Stay healthy. A 2014 study done by the Harvard Medical School showed that exercise changes the brain to improve memory and thinking skills. There is temptation during summer, when routines are thrown out the door, to abandon health routines as well. Summer is the best time to be active for many reasons, not excluding getting rid of that annoying paunch and finally having visible feet without having to bend over.
  2. Be productive. In reality, the only thing sitting in the recliner helps with is increasing IQ from being really low (roughly the same as concrete) to slightly less low (roughly the same as concrete with a few hundred hours of “Oprah” reruns under its belt). Volunteering, internships and even those less-than-satisfying to the self-esteem minimum wage jobs are helpful in securing a better future. Imagine the difference between a resume with the only highlight listed being school or having numerous qualifications such as school, getting yelled at by a 31-year-old who rose to the top of the fast food ranks in just 15 short years and learning so much self-control that even being spit on won’t cause a reduction in manufacturing efficiency.
  3. Have fun. Leave the country; find out how bad foreigners really do smell compared to Americans. Take a vacation (even a “stay”-cation can do somebody good as long as the aforementioned advice isn’t completely thrown out the door). Make friends, tell the friends that bring others down where to go–”where,” of course, being hell, or perhaps somewhere worse–because no one needs negative friends. Explore the world. Explore the backyard for scorpions (goodness knows something needs to be done about those little monsters). Make the college experience an experience worth having again.

It’s sad to say that there is no formula for the perfect summer. There are about 90 days to find it, though, so good luck!



One Comment on “Columnist vows to give up doughnuts for summer”

  1. You can send the donuts my way. (Just Kidding)
    As someone who did not return to higher education until I was in my 30’s, I agree with this article. Be proud of the decision to be a student. If you have to work to pay off loans, get a jump on that now. My best advice to students, if you can afford to travel- DO IT! Do it now. Someday you will have 9-5 jobs, marriages and children. It doesn’t get easier to travel later in life.

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